Too Much Information


There’s a fine line between friendly disclosure and TMI. I’ve made a career out of not knowing when to shut up, and my newspaper column was no exception.

Since the demise of Today’s Local News, my need to share has not diminished.

Check out my favorite QUOTES on the right and click on SUBSCRIBE to be notified of new posts.

Nose hair maintenance day

Add comment September 8th, 2010 09:40pm lswagerty

AOL Greetings has designated today as Nose Hair Maintenance Day and I, for one, think it’s a great idea. (more…)

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The PMS Truck

2 comments August 31st, 2010 11:25am lswagerty

Driving on the freeway the other day I saw a truck with the words Professional Maintenance Services emblazoned across the side. It sported a giant PMS logo with green flames coming out of the M. (more…)

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Facebook is dead

5 comments July 8th, 2010 10:17pm lswagerty

It’s official: Facebook is dead. Now that I’m on it, by definition it has become extinct. (more…)

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Don’t try this stress test at home

7 comments June 10th, 2010 04:30pm lswagerty

I suck at eBay.

Don’t try to comfort me. Don’t try to sugarcoat it. Don’t send me the automated message that I was not a winner this time. I’m a big fat loser with a capital BFL. (more…)

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The Mother’s Day you deserve

13 comments May 5th, 2010 02:41pm lswagerty

It’s been a year since my last TMI newspaper column, so it seems like the perfect time to launch my log. Or would that be blaunch my blog? (more…)

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In honor of Mother’s Day

3 comments May 4th, 2010 10:30pm lswagerty

I have reprinted three of my Mother’s Day columns from my old days at Today’s Local News. Read all three here!

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Like daughter, like mother

4 comments April 21st, 2010 01:18pm lswagerty

parasailing

My daughter Diane calls it reverse genetics. She thinks I got all my talent from her.

I call it leadership. As the Book says, “A little child shall lead them.”  Well, my child may not be little any more, but she is still very much in the lead.

Diane’s fabulous new blog inspired me to launch my new web site. So thanks to her, I give you the new and unimproved Too Much Information.

Thanks to those of you who missed my weekly column and begged for more. And thanks to the stranger in the post office who said he thought I had died.

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Casket cards

4 comments April 20th, 2010 12:38pm lswagerty

The demographic is a little different in my new church. For every wedding, there are 10 funerals. 

I’m trying to keep up with sending cards, but it’s hard to find humorous sympathy greetings. I’ve searched the stores and come up empty handed. 

Take this week, for instance: one lady had a birthday and her mother died—all in the same week. Should I send one card or two? I compromised and sent a sympathy card with write-in birthday wishes. Then I taped a cartoon inside the cover for good measure. 

In my opinion, the only card worth sending is a funny card. I’ve been saving cartoons about death and pasting them into sympathy cards. Today I sent one that had a picture of a plastic casket with a fitted lid that said, “The founder of Tupperware made sure to have his casket burped.”  Then I wrote a comforting verse underneath.  Just covering all my bases. 

I don’t know why humor should be off-limits for condolence cards. Every other occasion has cards for the lighter side of life.  Why not the lighter side of death? 

The jury is still out on my new line of silly sympathy cards. I’m waiting to see if the recipients ever speak to me again. But I’m hoping the idea catches on. 

Shoebox greetings—move over. Make way for Casket Cards.

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No fool like an April fool

4 comments April 1st, 2010 09:47pm lswagerty

Life was great when I worked in an office.  Alas, April Fools at home alone is not much fun…but I did serve my special Sponge Cake recipe for dinner (made with fresh sponges).  Send in stories of your best pranks ever and make my day!

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Going postal

Add comment May 12th, 2009 11:07am lswagerty

Since when are stamps a controlled substance? 

All I did was try to buy 100 stamps from the handy machine at the post office. After the first 5 sheets, the machine blocked my access, spit out my credit card and sent me a nasty notice: “You have exceeded the maximum allowable purchase of stamps in a 24-hour period.” 

I felt like a criminal. 

It was worse than getting shut down by my server for sending too many emails in a day. Worse than the ATM snatching my card for trying too many passwords. Worse than the treadmill at the gym pitching me off after 20 minutes.

What do they think you’re going to do with the stamps? Sniff the glue on the back? Scalp them to the people waiting in line? Stick them all over your kids and drop them in the mail box?

Pardon me if I don’t see the danger.

I thought the post office needed more business. Word has it that Saturday mail delivery may soon vanish. Well, they’re not going to get ahead by making stamp buying illegal. 

They’re lucky that I walked out just shaking my head. Somebody else might have gone postal.

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