Too Much Information


There’s a fine line between friendly disclosure and TMI. I’ve made a career out of not knowing when to shut up, and my newspaper column was no exception.

Since the demise of Today’s Local News, my need to share has not diminished.

Check out my favorite QUOTES on the right and click on SUBSCRIBE to be notified of new posts.

TMI: the book!

Add comment December 17th, 2014 07:34pm lswagerty

It’s here! TMI: the Book, Vol. 1, a collection of my humor columns. From aphids to zits, from chin hair to underwear, count on me to give you waaaay Too Much Information!

Two great ways to buy:

1) CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4515174TMI cover with shadow $15.00 + shipping

2) Signed copy directly from me: $15.00 + $3.00 shipping (media mail in 7-10 days) or $4.00 shipping (first class–2-3 days) Email me your mailing address & name you want it personalized to. Pay by cash, check, or Paypal.

Also available on Amazon for $13.50 + shipping, but not the best royalty…and we know it’s all about me. Coming soon to Kindle!

Share

A San Diegan in Santa Fe

18 comments April 11th, 2013 05:45pm lswagerty

 

green stool

green stool

After moving to Santa Fe three months ago, it’s time to weigh in on how I’m feeling about the place.

You gotta love a state that has its own official cookie. The Bizcochito (pronounced “Biscuit-Cheeto”) possesses all the characteristics of New Mexico rolled into a thick, two-inch disk.

Dry, brown and dusted with grit, when you put it in your mouth, it sucks all the moisture out of your body.

Speaking of dry, How dry is it , you ask? (more…)

Share

Tags: , , , , , ,

How to clean your bathroom

13 comments February 8th, 2013 05:22pm lswagerty

  1. Climb into tub & fill with warm water while reading book.
  2. Decide to try out whirlpool.
  3. Add water to 1 inch above highest jets & press power button.
  4. Notice globs of mold shooting into water from unused jets.
  5. Realize water level should be 2 inches higher than jets.
  6. Watch jets fire-hosing water out of tub.
  7. Jump up & turn off jets (may take 2 tries).
  8. Vacate tub & run through house looking for towels, hoping nobody’s peeking in windows.
  9. Mop up floors, walls, doors, cabinets, mirrors, counter tops, sinks & toilet.
  10. Get in shower & rinse mold shards from body.

Coming soon… How to clean your bathtub

 

Share

Tags: , , , ,

I’ll take irony over ironing any day

4 comments October 18th, 2012 10:51pm lswagerty

Isn’t it ironic . . . don’t you think?

I have a silver ring with  Fear Not engraved on it that I got during my episode with skin cancer. At that time I compiled a list of all the verses in the Bible containing those words.

Recently I got out the ring again and put it on, but when I tried to take it off, a combination of weight gain and water retention made it almost impossible. I finally got it off,  but now . . .  I’m afraid to wear my Fear Not ring!

I’m a walking Alanis Morissette lyric.

 

 

 

Share

Tags: , , ,

Yippee skippee

10 comments July 18th, 2011 09:26pm lswagerty

What brings me joy? These are a few of my favorite things.

  • Bubbles—don’t leave home without them. I love to blow bubbles while sitting at a long traffic light or at the gas pump while my tank is filling. Bubbles indoors add pizzazz to any meeting. I keep small wedding-sized bubbles in purse, car and desk for those impromptu moments. Every day is better with bubbles!
  • Kites—they’re not just for March anymore. I carry two kites plus string in the back of my car just in case. And I like to sing “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” loudly while flying them.  Today’s kites seem easier to fly than my childhood version—you don’t have to run to get them aloft.
  • Words like aloft. I collect words that start with A. It all started with the old riddle: When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.  When is a kite not a kite? When it’s aloft.
  • Breathing. I take one-minute breathing breaks in long store checkout lines. I pretend I’m on a mini-vacation and give thanks that those fussy kids aren’t mine. Bubbles help with fussy kids, by the way.
  • Skipping. I love skipping! …or I should say, I love the idea of skipping. Adult skippers look a little weird, especially if they are holding hands with their fellow skippees, but that’s okay. You can find skipping clubs online. For instance: Minnesota Skipping Club. Skipping is fun, it’s free, and it makes me smile.

PS: I just went outside and tried skipping. It was fun as advertized, but I may have to start a local chapter for Skippers with Depends.

Share

Tags: , , , , , ,

Some pig

4 comments May 17th, 2011 01:59pm lswagerty

In the past week I have been called 3 words (that I know of). Two of these were said to my face and one was sent in an email. All were adjectives.

I feel a bit like Wilbur the pig in Charlotte’s Web whose life was saved by the words woven into the spider web above his stall. Terrific. Radiant. Humble. (more…)

Share

Tags: , , , , ,

Don’t go breaking my heart

3 comments February 10th, 2011 05:23pm lswagerty

A florist delivery van pulled up in front of my house and put on his blinkers.  

Oh wow, I thought. I wonder who could be sending me flowers?  I know it’s a little early for Valentine’s day… but maybe someone is thinking ahead. (more…)

Share

Tags: , , ,

I hate when that happens

1 comment December 19th, 2010 11:17pm lswagerty

I got a paper cut on the lip from licking an envelope today. At first I tried to pretend it hadn’t happened by clamping a hand over my mouth quickly. I can’t even see it, but I know it’s there because it hurts like heck. And all to save a few bucks on envelopes. Call me spoiled, but once the self-sticking envelopes came out, I was hooked. Sort of like buying your first automatic garage door opener—there’s no going back. (more…)

Share

Tags: , , ,

Just shoot me

2 comments November 16th, 2010 06:28pm lswagerty

Most people have a bucket list—cool things they want to do someday. But I’ve got another kind of list.  (more…)

Share

Tags: , ,

national punctuation day

7 comments September 24th, 2010 05:30pm lswagerty

who knew there was a national day of celebration for the humble punctuation mark whatll they think of next some guy came up with this and the whole country follows like lemmings i for one am celebrating by giving all forms of punctuation the day off lets eat grandma is a sentence better punctuated but what the heck its their day off and i for one think they deserve a rest exclamation point

more details here

apostrophe catastrophes

unnecessary quotation marks

Share

Tags: , ,

Previous Posts