A San Diegan in Santa Fe

18 comments April 11th, 2013

 

green stool

green stool

After moving to Santa Fe three months ago, it’s time to weigh in on how I’m feeling about the place.

You gotta love a state that has its own official cookie. The Bizcochito (pronounced “Biscuit-Cheeto”) possesses all the characteristics of New Mexico rolled into a thick, two-inch disk.

Dry, brown and dusted with grit, when you put it in your mouth, it sucks all the moisture out of your body.

Speaking of dry, How dry is it , you ask? It’s so dry that earplugs petrify inside your head during the night. It’s so dry that toothbrush bristles go from soft to extra crispy between brushings. It’s so dry that the water in your drinking glass evaporates faster than the waiter can pour it.

At the risk of sounding like a 4th-grade report, the state bird is a roadrunner which I still haven’t spotted and the state insect is the tarantula hawk wasp, which thankfully hasn’t appeared inside my house yet. Wish I could say the same for the stray centipede that came to visit and ended up a fossil on the bottom of my boot.

The state vegetable is a chili, which leads us to the official state question: Red or green? (it could also refer to the contents of my nose on some days). It’s a burning question, no pun intended. As newcomers we’ve learned to order our chilies “Christmas, on the side.”

Santa Fe is the highest state capital at an altitude of 7,000 feet, which is just high enough to blame all my problems on. Altitude adjustment has taken up much of my time, along with an occasional attitude adjustment, and I am starting to breathe easier. My little green bottle of Chlorophyll drops has helped too, despite the warning on its label, “Side Effects: dark green stools may occur.”

If there were a state color, it would be brown. State drivers—-crazy, all of them. State of mind? Learning to love it here. Sure, I miss the ocean, but the sky in Santa Fe is a daily feast for the eyes. Winter mountains are brownies dusted with powdered sugar. And did I mention the stars?

Spring is just around the corner, there’s a squint of green in the air and I’m starting to learn my way around this town. Now if I could only figure out why I-25 South goes north and vice versa….

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